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The Top Ten list of when NOT to multi-task

March 10, 2014

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In today’s fast-paced society, not multi-tasking is seen to be old-fashioned and unhip. However, there must at least be some occasions left when it is appropriate not to multi-task, right? With that in mind, I have come up with the following list:

The Top Ten list of when NOT to multi-task

10) When you are at your wedding: to start off on the right note with your marriage, it’s best for you to devote all of your attentions to the bride/groom on such an occasion.

9) When you are facing the firing squad: it’s better not to exacerbate the situation by getting on the nerves of your executioners for not giving them your full consideration.

8) When you are being born: birth is a very important stage of your life, so it’s probably a good idea to concentrate completely on the natal process at hand.  

7) When you are a goalkeeper waiting for the penalty kick that will decide the FIFA World Cup Final: if you are in this situation, then, although I don’t mean to put pressure on you, your actions will be remembered for the rest of your life and will determine whether, in your country’s eyes, you are a hero who deserves a monumental statue in the public square of every city and town, or if you are a villain whose effigies will be burnt across the land. So no matter how tempting it is, resist tweeting about it while you are standing in the goal square!

6) When you are in a job interview: this is self-explanatory, although if the job that you are applying for involves multi-tasking, then you might wish to consider doing exactly that during the interview.

5) When you are sleeping: sleep provides a vital break from reality, as well as rest and recuperation for the mind and the body. Therefore, if you were to multi-task while sleeping, it would defeat the very purpose of sleep.

4) When you are at your own funeral service: It is considered to be a major breach of etiquette  that destroys the dignity and the solemnity of the occasion, if you decide to multi-task while lying in your coffin. 

3) While weight-lifting: it’s probably not a good idea to take a selfie or surf the net on your iPhone while you are doing this, but as always, you should use your own best judgement and not take my word as the gospel truth.

2) While eating a falafel: falafel is the messiest food in the whole Universe, the gastronomical equivalent of an atomic bomb. Its highly unstable ingredients are precariously held together by the enveloping pita bread. Thus, when you bite into a falafel, a mini-nuclear explosion is activated. This is why it is vitally important to give your full attention to the mastication of the falafel, as otherwise, you will still be discovering, weeks later, traces of hummus, tahini and falafel balls on body parts that you didn’t know you possessed. 

and the Number 1 occasion when not to multi-task

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Hold on, let me get back to you on this, I’m too busy doing other things right now!

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OK, I’m back with the Number 1 in the Top Ten list of when NOT to multi-task:

1) When you are gazing deeply into the eyes of your beloved and whispering to them that they mean everything to you and that they are your world and that nothing else matters.

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2 Comments
  1. kathryn ananda permalink

    Love this, Boris. 🙂

    • thanks Kathryn! Any particular ones on the list you would confess to doing yourself?

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