Dear Friends, despite the scepticism of some, I have been able to fully justify your view that I am a philosopher of hope and joy.
I am proud and delighted to announce that recently, while attempting to come up with a new proof of the Pythagoras’ Theorem, I serendipitously stumbled across the most beautiful, elegant and ingenious mathematical proof that we are all, in fact, living in Hell.
Consequently, we have nothing at all to worry about as things cannot get any worse and there is no hope for salvation.
People who think that this is hell on Earth are actually extremely inane optimists living in a fool’s paradise, still clinging on to the false hope that things could improve, whereas our real situation is in fact infinitely worse. They should have their illusions demolished by a helpful and gentle pointing out of the error of their beliefs.
People who realize that this is not hell on Earth, but rather that the whole Earth is in Hell are free from any delusional hopes and are in a better position to deal with the realities of life.
I will attempt to render this proof accessible to a layperson some time soon.
Well, recently, I have been honoured to have one of my song parodies performed live by the very talented Belgian-Australian singer/songwriter/pianist Deborrah “Moogy” Morgan. The song is titled ” Those Were the Nights” and it is a parody of the classic song “Those Were the Days”.
Once upon a time we went to Claypots
Where we used to eat a fish or two
Remember how we boozed away the hours
And thought of all the dumb things we could do
Chorus
Those were the nights my friend
There was no time for bed
We drank mulled wine forever and a day
The band played all night long
We’d sing and dance along
For we were drunk
and didn’t care what people say
La la la la…
Then the busy week went rushing by us
Monday, Thursday… is it nearly the weekend?
If by chance I see you there this Tuesday
Will you still remember my full name?
Chorus
Just tonight I stood in front of Claypots
No one there looked familiar to me
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Who’s that alco staring back at me?
Chorus
Through the door there came familiar singing
I saw Moogy and heard her call my name
Oh my friend we’re sober but no wiser
For in our brains all cells have died away
Chorus
